A local accountant is currently running through a raft of scenarios and possible one-line retorts like a politician about to go on FM Radio it can be confirmed.

Standing at the Barefooted Truffle Pig’s bar in Betoota’s Old City District, young Damien Williams said he was trying to get on the front foot with his deadshit mates who were about to roast him likes Woolies chook.

“I’m changing horses mid-race,” he confided in our reporter who was standing next to him and responsibly buying one of those mid-strength beers while on the company clock.

Enjoying a couple of after-work drinks with some mates following another big day helping large companies avoid paying anywhere near the amount of tax they should for his Big 4 firm in Betoota’s Old City District, Williams said the session’s accelerated faster than a cab driver approaching an Orange light.

“It’s not even dinner time and I’ve already had 2 rounds of beers,” he sighed.

“And the helpful fella behind the bar planted the seed of something other than beer in my mind, so I’m doing it.”

“This is the end of the second round, which I’m sure will inevitably lead to a third-round so I am ordering myself a Canadian Club,” said Williams.

“I’m bloated and feel like something to cleanse the palette – a little sliver of ginger at a nice Japanese restaurant if you will- and that’s okay, but I just need something to go back at them with when they pile in on me,” he laughed.

“Maybe I’ll rinse Phil for drinking a bottle of red at BYO Thai like a fucking 60-year-old father of five the other week.”

Our reporter then informed Williams that she wasn’t really sure why it was such a big deal and ducked back over to eat her $10 Mexican Parmy Special before heading back out for her night reporting shift dealing with house fires, driveby’s, crashes and actual situations.

It can be confirmed that Williams then took the round of drinks back over to his mates and appeared to get a bit of a winding-up before the conversation turned back towards cricket on the weekend and some chat about someone’s ex shacking up with another bloke from school which was met with an outburst of laughter.


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