EFFIE BATEMAN Lifestyle Contact

In some news that proves the government is actually listening to the cries of burnt out students across the nation, it’s now believed 1000 hours of crying yourself to sleep will now be recognised as part of the mandatory work placement.

This is fantastic news for anyone who is studying anything related to medicine, social services, and education, and is believed to slowly take the edge off the 7.1% HECs debt increase come June 1st.

Education Australia Director, Angela Foretti, says this is a positive move, and one that should make students lives a little easier.

“We’re aware there’s pretty much no incentive to study something like nursing, outside the goodness of your own heart”, says Foretti, “especially for students who are unable to live at home for free for a few years.”

“In addition to studying full time and undergoing thousands of hours of free labour, students also have to find time to work, and somehow scrape enough money together to pay for food, rent and travel expenses.”

“So it’s not hard to work out why there’s a skills shortage that seems to be disproportionately affecting nursing and social service industries.”

“But luckily, students can now include all the crying they do as part of their studies!”

“In their car on the way to a shift…”

“Or sitting in their car in the parking lot, trying to psych themselves up to do another ridiculously long underpaid shift.”

“Asking themselves ‘why am I doing this to myself?’, and ‘is it too late to do an apprenticeship instead?”

“Oh god I can’t do this all again tomorrow.”

“Maybe if I could just lightly run over by a car…”

More to come.


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here