WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact
A rapidly ageing mid level marketing and sales rep for some generic company based in our town’s Old City District has had a little win today.
The reserve grade Dolphins backrower named Korbin Sampson did so during his lunch break, when he treated himself to a fast food meal he didn’t have to lie to his colleagues and girlfriend about.
Prone to wolfing down a sneaky burger meal deal in between jobs, where his actions can go unnoticed, Sampson today found himself actually bragging about his lunchtime decision to try a meat-free Rebel Whopper from Hungry Jack’s.
Speaking to colleagues as his waltzed back into the open plan office a short time ago, the happily engaged Betoota Heights resident found himself walking with a spring in his step – like a 5th grade tailender who’s just ground out a gritty 7 off 32 balls.
“Yeah, just polished off one of those meat free burgers,” said the noble and selfless local man licking his finger and trying to rub the burger sauce out of his salmon Politix shirt.
“Just doing my bit for the planet you know,” explained the newly converted flexitarian.
Receiving little to no feedback from any of his colleagues other than a vague energyless ‘Oh yeah,’ Sampson continued.
“Was pretty good too, and nice to go plant-based,” explained the man now just moments away from looking online for an electric car.
“Only thing is, would probably be better if they could make the Ultimate Double Whopper meat free you know?”
“That would be the ultimate guilt free rip in feed [haha]”
“Nah seriously though, changing my IG bio to ‘Plant-Based Warrior’ as we speak.”
This article is brought to you in partnership with the people that made the burger that this overgrown child is currently eating in his car – Hungry Jacks.