Local HR representative Sophie Mackay’s winter body has met its biggest hurdle yet this afternoon.

This comes as the 26-year-old Betoota Grove woman made the colossal fuck up of attempting to engage her gym instructor with non-heath and fitness related conversation.

“I should have known” she told our reporters.

“He has a Carpe Diem tattoo across in shoulders in Old English. Of course this was going to end badly”

Complete with a sharply faded Peaky Blinders haircut, Wayde is Sophie’s go-to source for advice of weights training. She’s since learnt that she probably left it at just that.

While the kinda-happily-single white collar professional refuses to disclose whether this mistake was made out of romantic water-testing, she does admit that their most recent conversation has ruled Wayde out for eternity.

“He was talking about how he got into weights training while working on his ‘festival bod’ for Stereosonic” she says.

“So, in a lapse of protocol, I asked him what kind of music he’s into”

Within minutes, Wayde had hijacked the gym’s sound system and was playing that Solardo Remix of FISHER’s seminal 2017 dance ballad ‘Ya Kidding’.

“It was so loud” she says.

While Sophie acknowledges that she shouldn’t criticise Wayde for things that make him happy, she says the real issue was the fact that he was playing it to her and visibly seeking her approval.

“Now everyone in that gym thinks I’m the type of person that makes song requests”

“And they think that we share the same love of Australian Bro House”

At time of press, the Betoota Grove AllDaTime Fitness gym was overcome by the dulcet tones of The Bloody Beetroots ft Steve Aoki.

“One two! Woop Woop!” shouts Wayde while fist-pumping.


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