EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact

Sherise Winston isn’t the biggest fan of children. In fact, if it was possible, she’d have her entire uterus removed and replaced with packing peanuts.

Of course, being a twenty something woman, Sherise’s firm stance on children is often met with raised brows and bemused grins from relatives, who all insist she’ll change her mind when she gets older. Or the ‘but what if your husband wants them! – because god forbid, she has the audacity to stick to her scruples and run the risk of being alone, which apparently is a fate worse than death for women.

No doubt, this assertion that she’d be happy being single and childfree can cause much confusion to her older relatives, who long ago adopted the script that a life cannot be complete without reproducing, though half of them would be loath to admit they aren’t actually that happy.

And as someone who likes peace, quiet and for her belongings to not be sticky, Sherise is more than happy to take the road less travelled – but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t harbour some maternal feelings. Well, to animal babies at least.

Speaking to our reporter Effie, Sherise says she would ‘give birth to kittens if she could’, often devolving into a series of squeaks whenever she was in the presence of a tiny ball of fluff.

“Human babies are so useless and dependent” explains Sherise, “and fucking noisy.”

“And there’s so much snot.”

“You can leave a kitten or puppy at home. You can’t with a human.”

“Whenever I see a baby animal, I’m overwhelmed with motherly love.”

“But when I see a baby? Get it away from me, yuck.”

More to come.


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