EFFIE BATEMAN Lifestyle Contact

As local woman Jen Seymour treats herself to a thai massage for the first time in her life, she finds herself surprised at just how intimate it is – and also surprised by how quickly she is on board with having a tiny woman essentially sit on top of her, like a human backpack.

Finding herself being lulled into a haze, Jen wonders if it would be financially possible to have this done once a month. Heck, next time, she’ll go for the hour and a half option.

Wincing as the woman goes to town on a knotted muscle in her shoulder, Jen briefly considers asking her to lighten the massage, before remembering that she’s an introvert and the thought of being assertive makes her tremble.

“Would you like your back cracked?” asks the woman.

“Yes please.”

Now even more intimate, the masseuse reaches her arms underneath Jen’s arms like a backwards hug, and cracks her back so well, it makes a sound of someone curb stomping a bowl of uncooked pasta.


“Would you like me to crack your neck?”

“CRACK EVERYTHING”, Jen finds herself almost shouting.

It’s alleged Jen had her wish granted to be cracked like a glowstick, and is said to have left the clinic feeling as though all of life’s problems had been drained from her body.

More to come.


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