ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

A young townie has taken time out of his busy Saturday afternoon of spitting in public and dropping in down the Watson Road Skate Park to speak to The Advocate about dealing with haters and shit talkers.

“I will wrap this razor scooter around your fucking head if you talk smack,” revealed Lewis Matthews, son of local magistrate Gary Matthews.

“The last fuckhead I beat with my scooter dropped and flopped around at the bottom of the skate bowl like a carp on a river bank while he did his best to unconsciously swallow his tongue,”

“That’s what you get.”

However, Acting Superintendent Michael Rust from Betoota Police said that’s not only the wrong thing to do, it’s also illegal.

Rust is acutely aware of young Mr Matthews and knows his father personally – but that doesn’t detract from the fact that causing bodily harm to another person simply because they’re ‘pissing you off’ is not on.

“I know that young men especially get angry and frustrated from time to time,” said the Acting Superintendent.

“But to hurt someone like Lewis did last month is dangerous and illegal. I don’t understand why townies feel the need to get so violent and nasty. You don’t get this type of horseplay from the farm boys. We just ping them for drink-driving from time to time.”

But Lewis did offer some explanation as to why townies like to beat each other with scooters, trolley poles, wallet chains and skateboards.

The 13-year-old said West Betoota is a dog-eat-dog part of the world and you need to defend yourself and your honour at all times.

“If the police did their job, I wouldn’t have to lash gronks about the head with my wallet chain when they talk shit. Same goes for my scooter. It’s not good for it, but I’m not about to back down as dishonour myself. It’s all about staying loyal to yourself.”

More to come.


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