Betoota Acres man Jason Denso, 27, has today learnt he is homosexual. 

The news, delivered by a teenaged rival whose character he had just ‘360 no scoped’ in popular online first-person shooter game Call of Duty, came seemingly out of the blue.

“It really came as a shock to find out I was gay,” said a bemused Jason.

“I mean this kid lives in Canada and has never even met me. I am not sure what his credentials are or how he reached his conclusion so naturally, I asked for clarification. I was like, “Really? Are you sure?” but he seemed pretty certain. He said “yeah man, you totally are”. It was very surprising as I’ve only ever been attracted to women up until now”.

Rocked by the news, Jason immediately downloaded the app GrindR and started sorting through his wardrobe.

“I guess it hasn’t really hit me yet,” said Jason as stuffed shirts and hats emblazoned with beer company logos into a plastic bag to take to the clothing bin.

“Like, I wasn’t expecting it at all. My wife and kids were really surprised to find out too.”


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