Wrecking Yard Forklift Operator Dale Kipper never thought he would end up as a commodities trader, and yet here he is, with a big pile of copper in the backyard.

And every time someone throws out a washing machine or clock radio, Dale and his side cutters are there, ready to add to his holding of gold.

“Yeah, the price of copper has gone down a bit lately, but it’s a long term investment,” says Dale, whose backyard also appears to feature piles of artistically arranged tyres and pallets.

“And with this virus thing, a lot of stuff is worth less now. But, like, copper is always worth heaps, so it’s a good time to invest in used ¾” piping, and I’ve even started to diversify by adding old electric motors and transformers to my portfolio.”

In fact, so keen is Dale to protect his copper holding that he is stepping up security in his suburban backyard to protect his investment and ensure he can retire with the same slightly lavish lifestyle he currently enjoys.

“My first security measure was the barbed wire fence; that was a good start. I did get a big guard dog, but he’s too friendly to scare anyone. On the positive side, he does leave lots of landmines in the yard, so that will have to do until I collect enough pallets to finish off my guard towers, I guess. I dunno. Maybe I should just join all the copper together and plug it into the wall.”


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