EFFIE BATEMAN Lifestyle Contact

Taking a glimpse into her bathroom mirror, local woman Tess Thornton knows she’s pushing it a bit by prolonging her hair washing to day four.

But seeing as her hair is pretty high maintenance and requires a five step washing routine (otherwise she’ll look like Hagrid) Tess has to allow for roughly a one hour time slot in her schedule, which usually coincides around the same time she does her tan. Thus, turning a seemingly simple task into a huge palaver and not something she can fucked doing today.

However, considering the oil in her hair is reaching the point where strands are actually clumping together, Tess is aware it will not be socially acceptable to wear it loose. 

Luckily, slick tight buns are all the range at the moment, and she’s positive she can pull off the Bella Hadid/Hailey Baldwin/whatever ‘random nepotism baby is sporting it’ style.

Scraping back each bit of hair with the ferocity of a chav girl preparing themselves for a fist fight, Tess soon discovers that not only does she not look like a runway model but she also hasn’t been able to escape some kind of Harry Potter style hair – this time, with Draco Malfoy circa the Chamber of Secrets staring back at her in the mirror.

Theorising it wouldn’t be worth looking like Draco unless she got to be constantly degraded by Lucius Malfoy, Tess lets out a defeated sigh and rummages around in her bathroom cupboard for some dry shampoo.

More to come.


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here