LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT

In lighthearted news, an absolute clown made a complete dick of himself today by somehow managing to fuck up a tap payment at the supermarket.

Being one of the millions of Australians who has forgotten his pin number, Adrian Grock uses tap payment for all of his purchases and has done so for the past six or so years.

That high school length of experience has amounted to nothing apparently as Grock still somehow managed to absolutely cook the single movement manoeuvre and needed to try again.

“Oh sorry, these things are sometimes confusing,” stated Grock, as if he had not used his local supermarket’s eftpos machine every week for a decade.

“Is it the screen or on the top, I alway get confused haha.”

One group of people who weren’t laughing were the shoppers queued behind Grock, the check out worker and the remainder of society as a whole who can all agree that Grock had one bloody job.

One common critique about tap payments using either card or phone, is that it minimises the amount of thought put into a purchase, leading to more impulse spending on unnecessary items. 

A bigger critique is that chumps like Grock who couldn’t score in a brothel manage to cock up the easiest thing in the world and remind us why we are emphatically and irredeemably doomed as a species. 

“Some of ‘em have it on the side too, have you seen those? I don’t know where to tap the damn thing.”

“Almost easier writing a check haha!”

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