EFFIE BATEMAN Lifestyle Contact

A Betoota Heights man has come up with a genius breakup strategy, that both doesn’t require any confrontation on his part or any difficult conversations – becoming an iceman!

Jason Gosford (29) is alleged to have come to the conclusion that he was no longer into his girlfriend Sarah, and that even though they’d been together for three years, there was no need for him to take a gentle approach by simply being honest In fact, why break up himself, when he can just force her to do it!

Chatting to our reporter, Jason says this technique allowed his girlfriend to take control of the situation, whilst simultaneously breaking her spirit and exacerbating her anxious attachment issues.

“I know I could have just said the relationship wasn’t for me anymore”, explains Jason, “but that involves communicating my feelings, and I’m not really good at that.”

“So instead, I thought I’d be really cold and distant and withdraw all affection, in the hopes that she would lose feelings and do the messy part herself.”

Admitting that this behaviour originally prompted Sarah to cling harder and pepper him with constant ‘did I do something wrong’ and ‘do you still love me?’ (of which he answered, ‘yes of course’), Jason says acting like a prick eventually wore her down.

“It took a couple of months of refusing to look up from my phone when she was talking, but she finally got the message.”

What’s more, is that this approach now allows Jason to play the victim with all of his family and friends, reaping the pity and attention that comes with being unceremoniously dumped.

“It’s honestly just fucking genius, I highly recommend it.”

More to come.


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