EFFIE BATEMAN Lifestyle Contact

A local woman has this weekend learned one of the harshest lessons of adulthood – whatever vice used to bring you joy, will now destroy you.

May Pope had long heard about how worse hangovers get as you grow older, but had simply figured she’d be dealing with a sore head or case of the spitty bum, and NOT feeling horrible existential dread the morning after a big night out.

As someone who’d long put extracurricular activities to rest for that exact same reason, May had thought her days of lying in bed feeling the cold, creepy tendrils of a comedown were over.

But now it appears that alcohol has turned on her too.

And she feels…betrayed.

Unsure whether her tendency to do embarrassing shit on a night out had somehow pavloved her body into feeling anxiety, or if there’d been some kind of chemical shift in her brain when she clocked 30, May now finds herself questioning everything. 

Was this why people in their 30s got into marathons, Warhammer, beef jerky or home brewing?

Why things like non stick pans and double sided toilet brushes excited them?

“God”, she thinks, “what if I have to find joy without using some kind of substance?”

“That sounds like a lot of effort.”

“Maybe I’ll try weed.”
More to come.

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