In concerning reports from Betoota Heights this festive morning, it appears national inflation is continuing to dampen any shred of Christmas cheer.

The news comes as a local man has been gifted a three pack of Ferrero Rochers from his Nan, a severe reduction in the level of funds usually invested into family Christmas presents.

Speaking to The Advocate amongst what can be described as the world’s smallest pile of discarded wrapping paper, local man Phil Lowes (32), said this year’s present was a bit of a piss poor effort, but understood that it came due to financial pressure.

“Look Nan never blows me away with presents, she’s always been a pretty thrifty individual,” said Phil, as he began to unwrap the golden foil on his first chocolate of the morning.

“Sometimes she’s given me socks, other times it was a $20 David Jones voucher, but I’ve never had something that’s been under five bucks.”

Reflecting on all the presents that he himself had gifted this year, Phil told our reporter that inflation has also affected his ability to give generously in 2022.

“Usually I get Mum two or three Pandora charms, but she’s only getting one this year.”

“I often get my sister a Gold Class cinema voucher, but this morning I just gave her a month of Stan membership.”

“And I quite like forking out for a big present for Dad, in the past I’ve got him a hot lap in a V8, but this year I might just offer to fill up his car with fuel instead and we’ll just go for a burn around the housing estate later.”

“At least we’ll have some choccies for the road…”


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