CONSTANCE RIVERA | Grievances | CONTACT
Tense scenes have emerged at a share-house in Betoota’s French Quarter, after housemate Leah Smelter insisted that the mould-infested pungent cheese sitting unwrapped in the fridge was perfectly fine and not “off”.
The standoff began late last night when fellow housemate Hugo Gibson opened the fridge to grab a drink.
“Oh, that is rank!” Hugo yelled, causing Leah and their other housemate Emily to emerge from their rooms.
“What the heck has died in the fridge?” Hugo gasped.
“Um excuse me that is, Époisses de Bourgogne fromage I got from the farmer’s market, it’s ARTISINAL”. Leah muttered through gritted teeth.
“Mate it’s a bloody biohazard.”
“Yeah I can smell it from my room, put it in a container, or the bin PLEASE” Emily urged.
But Leah, a self-proclaimed ‘cheese connoisseur’, was quick to defend her cheese “It’s meant to air out,” she said, her arms folded. “You wouldn’t understand. It’s French, not just some Coles shit. Pairs perfectly with a dry Riseling”
The heated exchange continued for over 20 minutes, with Leah even insisting everyone else was a ‘philistine who didn’t appreciate culture.”
Hugo and Emily on the other hand, wondered if they needed to invest in a hazmat suit to enter the kitchen.
