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A prominent local smoker has come under fire today after refusing to roll a cigarette for a hip youth who hit him up for one in the smoking area of The Gelded Goana Hotel in Betoota’s fabled Old City district.

When asked by Thomas Brock if he could ‘borrow’ a cigarette, Sam Greenholm paused the conversation he was in to pull his Champion Ruby out of his top pocket and handed it to him.

However, Brock is a part-time smoker and has tried many times and failed to roll himself up some lung candy in the past.

“I didn’t want to be seen wasting this bloke’s tobacco,” said the 23-year-old.

“So I just asked him if he could be kind enough to roll one for me because mine always end up looking like a Twisty,”

“But he just put his rollies back in his top pocket and told me to fuck off back inside with all the other twinks. I thought a simple ‘no’ would’ve been enough but he took the opportunity to be mean. I let the manager know about it.”

But when The Advocate contacted Mr Greenholm for comment, he said he’s not running some sort of smoking Smith Family and that every time he goes to these ‘fucking’ gastropubs, he gets hit up by these social smokers that eat into his hip pocket.

“Every time the missus drags me down to some cunt of a place like the Goana, I get hit up for a smoke by some little smooth-handed free spirit,” said Sam.

“I’d had enough. I’m not Chrissie Swan, I’m not smoking for two. I told that bloke to fuck off because I’d had a hard day and I didn’t need that in my life,”

“He even asked me not to lick it. He wanted me to half roll it, let him lick it when it was in my hands still and then for me to finish rolling it. Can you believe the fucking balls on that bloke? Fuck me.”

More to come.


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