ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

An aging homeowner was the talk of the Royal Betoota Yacht Squadron today after fellow homeowners began mocking the 66-year-old over the size of the font on his iPhone.

Dudley Raleigh, a semi-retired piano tuner from Betoota Grove, was left red-faced this afternoon as the contents of his messages were able to be seen from the other side of the marina by younger, equally-well-heeled members.

Our reporter was present on the scene as the oddly-wealthy man bore the brunt of the agist bullying.

“Look at that,” laughed one 21-year-old Chris Craft enthusiast.

“I can read his messages from here! [laughs] How about you book yourself a visit to OPSM or something? How’s your macula? I can tell it’s fucked from here!”

A short but polite chorus of laughter erupted from the friends of the 24ft launch owner, who even had the gall to point.

Mr Raleigh, however, saw the lighter side of the conversation as he waved at the youths.

Speaking, in hindsight, unnecessarily to The Advocate about the confrontation, Raleigh said he didn’t mind the banter.

“When I was a young fella, we used to take the mickey out of old codgers all the time. Like I guess I am now,” he said.

“We had this one maths teacher who had these two huge hearing aids basically bolted onto the side of his head. We used to call him Mr Radar! Anyway, one day Radar comes into class and we all speak very softly to him on purpose,”

“So he turns his hearing aids up to the max, thinking he just had them too low. Then we all screamed at the top of our lungs and old Radar’s head almost blew up! Piss funny. Anyway, nice talking to you. I have to go wash the Riviera down now.”

More to come.

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