LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT

While a shopping list of industries deal with a labour shortage, the fashion industry is suffering a different shortage as they will never run out of 3rd world labour to exploit.

With 2022 finally being the host year for over two years of delayed weddings, the fashion industry has had to inform all engaged couples that they have run out of sage green.

Traditionally used on funky bass guitars, sage green is having a helluva moment as the only choice for bridesmaid dresses for the approximately nine million weddings in 2022.

So great has the demand been for this soothing colour, that will in no way take attention off the bride, that the last available piece of sage green fabric has gone out to market and will feature in several professional photos that will look extremely dated in about two years time.

“Had we known everyone would just copy everyone else’s wedding we might have tried to secure some more sage fabric,” stated bridal shop owner Kitty Lui, as another bridal party left her store on a fruitless quest to find sage green dresses somewhere else.

“Everyone wants it but I don’t think they can grow the sage quick enough to make some more.”

“I don’t really know how it works, I just buy them in and charge x500 the price.”

At the time of writing, Australia’s brides-to-be have released a statement about how their perfect day will still go ahead while the nation’s grooms-to-be have stated they are also devo that they can’t get the right colour of green or whatever it is.

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