EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact
A chronically online woman has today announced that she no longer plans on trying to save money as ‘shit’s fucked, so why bother.’
The newly born nihilist, Chloe Danelli, 28, tells The Advocate that after reading an article this morning about her superannuation plummeting due to Donald Trump’s decisions on tariffs, she’s now decided to stop thinking about the future and start living in the now.
“I’ve decided to stop feeling depressed about, you know, the whole oligarchs monopolising all forms of media so they can trick working class people into thinking each other is the enemy while they strip away social security and deplete the world of its natural resources.”, says Chloe, “or how young men are turning to the alt right, and people like Andrew Tate are walking around free, and invited to UFC events.”
“In some ways, it’s actually quite freeing. Instead of squirrelling my money away, I’m just going to live in the now.”
Chloe says she still has some money tucked away for a rainy day nor does she plan on racking up a credit card debt – but she’s sure as hell going to enjoy herself.
“I’m going to travel, eat good food, drink nice wine and buy that $80 blush from Mecca.”
“Fuck it!”
More to come.
