EFFIE BATEMAN Lifestyle Contact

A dad visiting his daughter from Betoota Ponds has this week been left feeling quite confused, after discovering that things in the big smoke were A LOT different than back home.

After agreeing with his wife that a Sydney visit would make for a nice break, Arthur Harris [52] has so far spent the entire trip wide eyed and slack jawed, making sure to give a constant running commentary on everything – especially if it was an example of why his hometown is MUCH better than living in ‘fucking Sydney.’

This has included going off at the cost of wine per glass ($16 for an ‘RSL pour), burgers not coming with chips, and how ‘that expensive lump of cheese’ (burrata) didn’t come with any bloody bread.

But undoubtedly the biggest culture for Arthur isn’t the overpriced food, but how attractive all these young homeless people are. Attractive, and weirdly buff.

It’s alleged Arthur was sitting at a cafe with his daughter this morning, when a young woman walked by carrying a rolled up yoga matt in a sling.

“I’ve gotta say, the homeless here are a bit more upper crust than the ones back home”, Arthur said, “not very practical mind you.”

“That’s a pretty small swag.”

More to come.


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