ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

A gibbering old fuck was seen attempting to move against the flow of disembarking passengers today shortly after the 3:20 pm Qantas service to town landed.

While some immediately and needlessly stood as the plane pulled up at the ramp, Graeme Ponk was determined to be different.

The 68-year-old didn’t remain seated, he didn’t try and stand up in the race to be first off the plane.

He did something much, much more unique.

Speaking exclusively to The Advocate this afternoon, fellow passenger Emily Spearman detailed what the confused, terrified Baby Boomer did next.

“This old bloke started walked toward the back of the plane, even though there weren’t any back steps,” she said.

“He was moaning about being unable to find his bag or something. It was in the overhead bins opposite his seat. We could all see it. Fuck me dead, don’t ever let me get that old and afraid.”

“Come to my house on my 60th birthday and shoot me through the brain like at the end of The Departed or something. That looks like hell. You could see everyone on the plane looking at Graeme with absolute disgust.”

Mercifully, an errant stewardess appeared to corral the intrepid sexagenarian into going back with the flow.

He helped Graeme find his carry-on luggage and told him which carousel to find his checked bags – to which Graeme asked:

“What on Earth is a carousel and why does it have my bags!”

More to come.


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