On paper, Christmas is that time of year where families have their hallmark moment, eating great food, pulling crackers and exchanging thoughtful gifts.

But for many families in the suburbs, Christmas is that time of year where family members who haven’t seen each other in months are forced to make small talk, and grimace at grandad’s shit jokes he’s told a hundred times.

For the Rigg family, this year was supposed to be a bit different, with plans to eat fish and chips at Redcliffe beach with the kids. However, after much debate on the amount of time and effort it’d take to get the toddlers into the car, the Rigg’s have decided to do what they do every year – sit in the lounge watching the ABC Christmas special, as dad gets on the piss.

As the patriarch of the family, Paul was awarded a bottle of scotch each Christmas, which he managed to always drink that day. This would be accompanied by nonna whisking away the present’s wrapping paper before it even touched the ground, and mum spending the whole peeling prawns and sipping on a single glass of wine.

Swapping the special for a Meatloaf concert at the request of dad, the Rigg family continued their awkward silence until Paul passed out on the chair, signaling it was time to go home.

More to come.


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