TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact

A young Birkenstock wearing couple, Bindi Aye and Archie Freeman, are this afternoon treating themselves to a nice lunch.

After enjoying an entrée the couple began to let their judgmental eyes roam around the restaurant.

It’s believed it was at this point that they noticed the Kelly family, another couple slightly older with a 5-year-old boy.

Bindi and Archie’s eyes immediately darted back to one another, the look of disgust radiating from their faces.

“That poor child, it doesn’t stand a chance” said Bindi, leaning over the table so only Archie could hear.

“That thing is frying that poor kid’s brain” replied Archie.

“There’s no way I’m letting our kids go anywhere near a screen”

“Did you know none of the creators in Silicon Valley will let their kids have phones or tablets?” parroted Bindi, repeating a fact she’d heard from someone who might have read it somewhere.

While they say they’re not snobs, Bindi and Archie continued to hypothesise the horrible life they imagined up for the child.

The Advocate is waiting to see if Bindi and Archie will still be on their tech-denying high-horse when they’ve got a snotty, screaming, misbehaving child doing everything it can to ruin their attempt at a nice night out.

More to come.


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