TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact

The Betoota Bulls Charity Ball has been a landmark on the town’s social calendar for quite some time.

Reports from the scene say champagne and beers have been flowing non-stop since it kicked off today.

According to the Ball’s program, an auction was due to take place at moments ago, however, the auctioneer remains crouching in the corner, evilly tapping his fingers together and biding time.

The Advocate quietly approached the auctioneer to see why he was deliberately delaying the schedule and why he was sporting such a sly smile.

“Ah, you found me” said Michael Fowler, the auctioneer.

“I, ah, am waiting for…”

“Nah, I can’t lie. No one will bid unless they’re half cut”

“I’ve got a kid’s BBQ set here, no sober person would pay for that”

“So, I just like to wait till they’re at least 4 standard drinks in before I get on the mic.”

Reports from Ball indicate that Michael’s plan worked perfectly, with every single one of the auction items selling for well above their recommended retail price. In particular, a signed Sydney Swans jersey that sold for $1300.00.

The jersey wasn’t even the most overpriced item, a young man from West Betoota bought his girlfriend a serviette with Lee Kernigan’s signature on it for $2000 – it’s not yet known if this serviette has any ongoing monetary value, or if the girlfriend even knows who Lee Kernigan is.

More to come.


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