LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT


A report by the CSIRO confirmed that there are few things more bloody lovely than getting a nice serving of hot chippies after a swim.But for visitors to Betoota’s favourite coastal getaway, Glumbucket Heads SA, this bloody lovely tradition is unattainable as the only cafe with a perfect spot by Snook Beach is not even trying to be good.

At the time of writing, the only cafe within walking distance of Snook Beach is Snook’s Shed, famous for burnt coffee, long wait times, and horrendously under salted chips.

“What’s more is that they make me feel old when I go in there,” stated blow in Lynton Clunes who would have to drive 15 minutes in wet bordies if he wanted other lunch options.

“The staff are all under 16, they don’t give a shit that the only thing on my burger is beetroot. I just want to say to them ‘turn the Post Malone off, clean this shit off the floor, and fix up this bloody burger I payed $24 bucks for!’”

Customers who are unhappy with the service at Snook’s Shed are often informed by the staff that they are welcome to frequent another nearby business and when that mission comes up fruitless they are cordially invited to go and fuck sand. 

MORE TO COME.

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