Tongues are literally wagging in the Betoota CBD this morning as trendy café Caff.Hey! implements a new environmentally-friendly zero-waste policy that eliminates the need for disposable cups and even ‘keep cups’.

“It’s all about leaving the smallest possible environmental footprint” explained Caff.Hey owner, barista and part-time clerical assistant Terry Salt, 22.

“We found that people who use keep cups are periodically being gifted new keep cups by their family and workmates, thereby negating any environmental saving.”

“To get around this we take the coffee directly to the consumer by allowing them to rest their head directly under the espresso machine and pour their drink directly into their mouths.”

“So far we have saved over 50 cups this morning alone.”

One unnamed customer approached our reporter to share her excitement about the new scheme.

“Dar bur ma farkar marf wa hart karfay! Ar car arven farl ma tarnge arnie mare! (sic)” she enthused in an unknown language, whilst waving her arms around.

“Ars sarn ars ar gut bark fra da barn yarnit ar garna garv ma lawyer a carl sar ar carn takk thars farkan arjet far arl hars gut!”

“It’s great to see everyone so enthusiastic about our new initiative” grinned Terry as he waved her goodbye.

“There’s been lots of enthusiastic shouting going on here this morning and no complaints, as far as I can tell. Plus we are selling heaps of our new Aloe Vera Choc Chip Muffins”.


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