A local homeschooled kid named Aldous Hemmingway who is bored out of his mind right now, said he’d give anything to go to the trampoline venue.

“If that’s where all the other kids are, I’d love to go,” he said while swinging his legs sitting on one of the chairs in his parent’s terrace house garden.

His comments come after Prime Minister Scott Morrison issued a decree that children need to stop ‘congregating at Trampoline venues.’

Speaking on Sunday night about the government’s slowly accelerating attempts to stop the spread of the dealy Covid-19 virus, Morrison said:

“There will not be congregating up at the trampoline venue or whatever it happens to be.  That will not be happening. It won’t be a holiday as anyone has ever known it.”

While the latest attempt to seem like a relatable everyday bloke whose doing as best he can in these trying times was laughed off by many, poor Aldous says the comments made him said.

“My parents homeschooled me because they don’t mind using me to further an egotistical pursuit to I’m not sure who, and that means that I don’t really know what other kids get up to.”

“But if they are all at the Trampoline Venue like Scotty says, then that’s where I want to be.”

“I’m so bored right now.”

“This coronavirus thing is poop.”

“I wish it would go away.”


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