EFFIE BATEMAN Lifestyle Contact

A poor bloke from Betoota Heights has found himself living in a constant state of confusion lately, with a thoughtful gift to his girlfriend being the cause of this newfound problem.

Suffering a sore neck from the constant head swivels, 32 year old software engineer Keegan Delaware tells our reporter that it sounds like he’s being haunted by his weird aunt’s wind chime collection, due to the charm bracelet he gifted Kelly for her birthday – which coincidentally, makes the exact same noise as their cat’s bell collar.

Admitting that he ‘never knows who’s coming or going’, Keegan says he’s slowly being tortured by the persistent sound of jangling.

“It’s the constant jangling and tinkling sounds. Why did I buy so many fucking charms?” Keegan asks himself, as he ruffles his hair in exasperation, “it’s the most annoying fucking thing in the world.”

“And I can’t say ‘hey Kelly, I know I bought you this bracelet but every time you make the slightest bit of movement, I think about jumping out the window.”

“I’ve even started hearing it at fucking work.”

“Should have just gotten her a Frank Green bottle.”

More to come.


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