ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

A man was seen bowling as fast as his body would let him this afternoon at the Machattie Park cricket nets in the Old City District, which caught the attention of onlookers as it’s almost the middle of winter.

Cutting a lonely figure between his explosive acts of locomotion, Cameron Staynes, of the French Quarter, said he was working on a few things with his action during the off-season.

There weren’t any stumps to aim but that didn’t stop the 28-year-old from having some fun.

“People go to the gym alone, people play golf alone?” he said.

“But one bloke bowling absolutely hammer and tong alone in the cricket nets results in media attention. No wonder nobody likes journalists anymore,”

“I mean, if your editor even lets this go to print, who’s going to read it? You think I’m weird. What about the people reading a seven-inch column in the local news section about a bloke throwing down some heat in the nets all by himself?”

Mr Staynes went on to explain himself further.

“One of my housemates comes down sometimes and we take turns batting. But because of the utter state of the economy at the moment, he’s had to get a night job on Mondays and Thursdays at the IGA Bakery. There’s a story right there.”

In his right hand, Cameron gripped a ball that resembled a sphere of crudely crushed wet newspaper.

“There’s a bit of a puddle at the end, see. This ball has been soaking it up like a dish sponge.”

Our reporter nodded then asked Cameron if he had anything better he could be doing right now.

He shook his head.

“How do you not understand? This is fun for me. This is time well spent. What else would you propose I do? Cook a nice risotto then curl up on the couch and watch Four Corners? Mate, you are a fuckwit.”

More to come.


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