Like many Aussie blokes whose belt size sits in the 40s, Harry “Hogga” Armstrong has never had an athletic build suited for European football.

A 5 ft 10 unit who is wide as he is tall, Harry is one of the many dense individuals who learnt from an early age that soccer wasn’t quite right for him or his lack of cardiovascular ability.

But just like millions of other Aussies across the country, Harry is set to wake up at 2am this morning to cheer on the Socceroos as they take on Denmark and the chance for a Round of 16 spot at the FIFA World Cup.

Athletically challenged from a young age, after playing just one year of soccer when he was nine years old it’s believed Harry’s thirst for barging over much smaller humans was quenched when his parents finally let him segue to junior rugby league where he played six seasons as a Prop for the Betoota Dolphins.

Hanging up the boots before moving into Colts, Harry now flexes his porky little legs once a week at Lockyer Park, where he plays in the mixed touch football comp with his team, “Bali’s Angels’’.

Yet after a week of trading World Cup related water cooler banter with his colleagues in the city, and being inspired by the vision of a small handful of Aussies dripping in green and gold in Qatar, Harry is keen to tune into the game and watch in earnest as his first world cup multi comes off.

“Nah, don’t go backwards, get into em!” he reportedly screamed at his plasma TV during last Saturday’s game against the Tunisians.

“Swing it to the wing and take them down the blind!”

“Awww ref there’s nothing in that!,” he squealed, throwing his hands in the air like a furious Italian chef yelling at a waiter who’s dropped a bowl of Carbonara.

“Fire up, let’s rip into ’em!”


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