Local man David Gordon has today been asked the one question he’d rather have avoided, after a routine bar night with his best gal pal ended up opening some emotions he’d naively thought had long been buried.

David and Lisa were reportedly having a drink with some newly made mates forged by liquor when one of the blokes queried if the pair were more or less rooting.

Caught mid-sip of her Bellini, Lisa’s awkward pause to answer was made worse by David’s pained, shrill laugh, that even in a packed restaurant came across a tad too loud.

“HAHHAHAHAHA”, laughs David, refusing to answer the question and looking just a little bit hopeful, “HAHHAHAHA.” “HAHAHHAHAHAHAA.”

Unfortunately for David, and those who bore witness to the cringe-inducing interaction, the question was shut down even further by Lisa who too laughed and let out an amused huge ‘ha noooooo.’

David was later seen staring despondently at a spot on the other side of the room as he mechanically nodded and smiled rather tightly at whatever conversation was going on, which had this point become monopolised by the same brute who thought the tactful question was appropriate to ask.

A bystander tells our reporter that it was undoubtedly one of the most painful events he had ever witnessed.

“I’ve been a vet for five years”, says the witness, Nick, “and I can honestly say that the light in this fella’s eyes went out quicker than a sedated pug. It was fucking brutal.”

Nick adds that he reckons it’s a ‘stupid fucking question’, as it heavily implies that it’s obvious to everyone in the room that at least one person seems a bit keen.

More to come.


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