Apprentice chippy Luke Swainy (19) has today provided the older blokes on site with a rare glimpse into how his cannabis-hazed brain works.

Swanny, as he likes to refer to himself, has rocked up to work today with a $2000 set of KM702 Deuce Satin Black Milled 20 inch rims, on his $6000 dollar Toyota Hiace.

It’s a new look that he’s excited to debut, as he informs the world that this work van is also a weekend van.

This new impulse purchases appears odd, considering the fact that Luke has eaten packet mi goreng for every single meal since he was signed on as a first-year 9 months ago, and regularly complaining about the fact that his phone has been barred from service because he can’t pay the consistently overwhelming bills that he racks up from indiscriminately playing Candy Crush at any spare moment, with or without access to wifi.

“I’m gonna lower it too” says Swanny, while flicking wrist and making a clicking sound with his middle and index finger, as young males that age tend to do.

“Drop her right on her guts. Maybe gets some airbags or hydraulics [teenage laugh]”

Swanny’s honest belief that he will be able to afford any of those new features without a high-interest loan from a financial institution in no way associated with his current bank warms the hearts of the older blokes on sight, who begin to reminisce on a time when they too thought doing up a work vehicle was a good idea.

“Might get like a TV or something in there for when I get some action”

At time of press, Swanny was seen playing inappropriately sensual R’n’B slow jams as loud as his Kenwood 2 way speakers could manage.


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