A resident at a local Betoota aged care facility has opened up today about her bold plan to get a half decent meal.

Beryl Withers (89) who was residing in the ironically named Betoota Ponds Happy Village, spoke to our reporters about her incredible plan.

Transferred to the Betoota Correctional Facility yesterday evening with Grievous Bodily Harm charges levelled against her, Withers explained that she had been desperately craving a palatable meal with some sustenance, so hatched an ambitious plot earlier this week.

“Well you see, the food, if you’d call it that, which they serve up in the Happy Village, is inedible,” Withers said.

“And I grew up during the Second World War, so let me tell you, corn beef was a bloody treat for most of my childhood, so I don’t exactly have the palate of some of our politicians.”

Withers actions come after the Prime Minister responded to the damning findings in the Royal Commission’s report on the Aged Care sector. 

The Report made 148 reccomendations, with some of the strongest being around greater funding based on needs and far greater regulation and transparency. 

“Go down there and have a look at the food they serve up. Even the family dog would turn her nose up at it I tell you,” said the resident of a privately run facility that serves about about 6 dollars worth of food a day and has one untrained employee covering Berryl and the other 40 residents in her wing of the facility right now. 

Withers explained that it was time to take matters into her own hands.

“Yep, so I just decided to poke a hole in one of the managers,” she said.

“I obviously made sure one of the nurses was close by, otherwise we would have been there for a few hours, but it’s worked out all okay. I made sure I put it in her leg so she’ll be fine, just a bit sore for a while. And I’ll get some half edible food!”

“You do wonder what it’s come to when you go to those measures to get horrible prison food, but I guess that’s just the way it is when you let private companies run aged care facilities.”

Withers explained that she is still contemplating whether to plead guilty or innocent.

“I’ve only been here for a few hours but it seems alright actually,” she said.


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here