A new twist in the curious case of the well-liked Tamil family from rural Queensland has shown that Home Affairs Minister Peter Dutton actually isn’t that good at stopping the boats, a revelation that contradicts pretty much his entire pre-election campaign.

After being hammered by thousands of critics regarding his handling of the refugee family from Biloela, including vocal opposition from Barnaby Joyce, Alan Jones and Anthony Albanese – Peter Dutton has today conceded to the media that he needs to deport this family because he hasn’t been doing a good job at stopping other illegal immigrants from making their way to Australia.

While Dutton had initially attempted to blame this administrative binfire of human rights violations on ‘Labor Opportunists’ he has now come forward with claims that over 13 different boats full of asylum seekers from Sri Lanka have attempted to travel to Australia in the past 18 months.

Despite his best efforts to insinuate that this spike in arrivals is directly a result of the nation showing compassion for the family of the abattoir worker from Biloela – what it mostly shows is that the government is not as good at stopping the boats as the weird boat trophy in Scott Morrison’s office would suggest.

“So what you need to understand is…” says Dutton.

“Is that I’m actually really bad at my job.”

“And heaps of boats are still arriving, and I know we made it illegal for journalists to report on boat arrivals, but considering how much pressure I am under to allow a non-white family live Australia, I’m willing to lift those rules temporarily – and tell you how many boatfuls of similar looking people are making their way to Australia, even though it is my one job to stop that from happening”

Scott Morrison said he is not interested in intervening on this issue, because as we learnt during the 2019 Lib Spill, his political career has benefitted greatly from not publicly supporting Peter Dutton and in turn allowing him to humiliate himself all on his own.


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