The Prime Minister has horrified economists and rugby league fans by drawing parallels between the struggling economy and the soon-to-be relocated Cronulla Sharks.

Morrison berated 7.30 host Leigh Sales for her “absurd proposition” that suggested the government’s focus on achieving a surplus “undercut” the Reserve Bank’s attempts to stimulate the economy.


Sales argued that “having a surplus means by its nature you are spending less money”. Mr Morrison replied that “what it means is we are ensuring that we are paying down the debt that has been built up from excessive spending in previous years”.

“But the question is, is it the right time for the economy to do that?” Sales asked.

Mr Morrison then went on to explain that while the economy was showing signs of collapse, he believes it has the ability to turn it around. Like his beloved Cronulla Sharks did in 2016 when they finally won an NRL premiership after the team systematically abused peptides and were paid well outside the salary cap for the good part of a decade.

“Yes, Leigh” said the Prime Minister, as his iconic smirk began to pull from the left side of his mug.

“The economy has faced a few hurdles this year”

“A bit like my Sharkies!!!”

A visibly frustrated Sales went on to politely request that the Prime Minister stop referencing his home electorate’s lacklustre rugby league franchise to take the spotlight off his billy-cart economic management policies – as was promised by his media staffers before the interview.

“Nah nah nah. I’ll be quick” said Morrison.

“All I’m saying is that when you talk about the dire state of the economy at the start of this financial year, you should also remember people were saying the same things about the Sharkies mid-way through the season”

Sales began to sigh, before asking Morrison to be quick with his metaphor.

Morrison continued “…and guess what. Like the little engine that could… They are still here! Entrenched in the final eight. I’ve seen them do this before and I’m sure they’ll do it again. A bit like our economy, when you think about it. Our economy just needs a little bit of Stephen Dank”

Sales then began quizzing Morrison about whether this twigs-and-glue comparison will still be relevant in a week’s time when the Cronulla Sharks get sodomised by the winner of the Rooster V Rabbitohs match this weekend.

“Haha. We’ll have to wait and see Salesy” said Morrison.

“Don’t call me that” said Sales.



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