CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
As Sydney recovers from this morning’s torrential downpour, stars are starting to arrive on the red carpet at The Star Casino ahead of tonight’s ceremony.
Musicians, partners, and coked up studio #MeToo machines are stepping out in style for the 2018 ARIA Awards.
The evening’s highly-anticipated hosts have already arrived, celebrity couple Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban. Nicole, Australia’s sweetheart looking elegant and chic as always in a champagne-coloured outfit, while Keith looks like every other bloke here.
However one guest that stands out from the crowd is the shirtless and heavily tattooed Western Sydney Gutter Rapper, EMCEE Kerser – who rolled up in a convoy of roughly fifteen black Range Rovers – before hitting the red carpet with his entourage of sixty Campbelltown eshays.
Many prominent industry identities were heard gasping as Kerser slowly meandered down the red carpet while drinking a long neck of Tooheys New and smoking a cigar paper rolled with what smells like a very powerful strain of Western Sydney marijuana.
Iconic music presenter, the wheelchair bound Molly Meldrum, who somehow ended up caught in the middle of this mob, was heard asking one of the jewellery-laden Campbelltown boys what the fuck was happening – before being offered a hit of the blunt and being rolled the rest of the way down the carpet by one of Kerser’s cousins.
Entertainment guru Richard Wilkins is believed to have momentarily thought the venue was being ransacked, later admitting he hadn’t heard of Kerser because he doesn’t use Youtube and FM radio only plays hip hop from Bliss n Eso.
“I feel embarrassed now” said Wilkins.
“I actually called security over. Turns out this guy is up for an award tonight and he sells more albums then anyone here”
“I guess he must get played on triple J or something”
