The people of Far North Queensland are exhaling, for now, as Cyclone Kimi weakens into a category one system and forecasters said on Tuesday it now appeared unlikely to cross the coast.

Towns up the Far North had earlier been battening down the hatches as the tropical cyclone lurked off the coast as a category two.

This is exciting news for that nation’s weathermen and women, who live and breathe this shit.

Unpredictable La Niña rainfall and climate patterns have long been recognised as the ‘crown jewels’ for anyone in the weather presenting game, as they take relish in the challenge of predicting which way these crazy storms are going to go next.

Betoota weatherman, Ted Brailey from the local television news network BTA-TV, says this time of the year really gets him going.

“The Bureau of Meteorology said Cyclone Kimi was travelling south-east about 135 kilometres north of Townsville about 1am AEST on Tuesday.”

“The BOM told people living between Lucinda and Ayr, including Palm Island and Townsville, to prepare by securing boats and property.”

“They were wrong hahaha” he says, as he masks a half-blooded erection.

“What we are seeing is that a coastal crossing as a tropical cyclone is becoming unlikely and destructive winds were no longer expected near coastal and island areas.”

Chuffed with himself, Ted says that’s the thrill of this game he’s in.

“You never know. I mean. It’s hard to know”

“I could have told youse the Kimi was gonna get downgraded, but the BOM had other ideas”

“I don’t think she’s done with us yet though haha”

Ted the weatherman pauses and gently lips his now fully erect penis into his waistband.

“Fuck I love this shit”



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