In a groundbreaking revelation that has foodies around the world flocking to Australia’s light industrial suburbs, a new report indicates that the presence of water bottles under a lemon or olive tree is the ultimate sign that the adjoining household can whip up a mean moussaka.

The study identified that the age-old Greek Islander tradition of leaving recycled plastic bottles full of water under trees to repel pests has a striking correlation with the quality of food cooked in the household.

This ground breaking report also found that complaining about local government policies and still holding on to a centuries old rivalry with countries that border your homeland is also a sure sign that some high quality food can be found in the kitchen at all times.

News of the study has prompted an influx of Yiayia’s across the country to contact their delighted grandchildren and remind them that “Yiayia knows best”.

Other signs that you’re about to eat not only the best moussaka of your life, but also far more than you would usually eat, is the inclusion of a ‘good room’ made up of furniture that nobody has ever been allowed to sit in.

The non-good room, which features a pile of Greek language newspapers and a collection of audio cassettes celebrating the greatest hits of previously unknown Greek-Australian crooners, is full of furniture that may also be covered in plastic.

However, it’s the plastic water bottles under the lemon tree on the nature strip that one must look for before committing to several platefuls of the heavy eggplant and potato-based dish at an awkward time of the day.

Savvy inner city restaurateurs are attempting to recreate the magic by scattering water bottles throughout their premises. However, without the heavily concreted front lawn and $80,000 in 1980s paper currency buried underneath a fig tree out the back, attempts to emulate this universally acclaimed culinary brilliance are so far unsuccessful.


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