LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
East Tamworth was the sight of a disgraceful display today as out-of-towner Thomas Casey (25) absolutely cooked it trying to park his late model luxury vehicle in a street side 45-degree parking spot.
Witnesses report that while having ample room to perform the park, Casey attempted it as if it were a parallel park, landing his car exactly in the middle of two spots before attempting to straighten up and almost driving his car into an oncoming semi-trailer.
Passengers in Casey’s vehicle who wish to remain nameless have described the shameful incident in detail.
“It sounds like a cliche but it all happened so fast. He was in the rolling the wheel around like he was in a bumper car. I tried to tell him what to do but he wouldn’t listen!”
“I just closed my eyes after a while it was so bad. When he was done I didn’t want to get out of the car. I was so ashamed, I didn’t want people to know I’d been riding in a car with this chump.”
“Then when he was done I basically had to get a taxi to the curb he was still so far out. Honestly, it’s not that hard!”
According to Casey, he was trying his best and the cries of help from his passengers only made the ordeal more traumatising.
“Lisa’s giving me shit for it but she can’t even drive in the city. Pete isn’t even on his Ls so he can shut up!”
Casey maintains that this can happen to anyone and highlights the bigger issue in regional Australia of the excessive pride associated with performing a perfect 45-degree park.
“I can do a parallel park in the city any day, I don’t get why regional Australia is obsessed with parking on an angle for fuck’s sake.”
“The locals can’t get enough of it, they love it seeing a city boy stuff it up. They’re just as proud of that as they are of the big golden guitar which is a tacky testament to the objectionably worst genre of music.”