While the Sydney Gay and Lesbian Mardis Gras might be Christmas for plenty of people across Australia, for pearl-clutching straight people it is a personal attack.

For one Betoota Heights mechanic, there doesn’t seem to be a line between ‘pride’ and ‘shamelessness’

“Why do they have march on the streets? I don’t walk round with a banner that says ‘I have sex,’” says Brian Karntz (65).

This is an interesting comment from Brian, who actually did once own a shirt that read ‘I have sex’ while he was a member of pub rock band called ‘The Sex Havers.’

“Gays are just forcing their sexuality on us. We get it. You like blokes. I don’t need to see your arse to know that” says Brian, as he straightens up his favourite Penthouse calendar, behind his desk at work, in full view of woman and children.

“Looks like we’ve got a whole month of this stuff”

Currently, Karntz has four such nude calendars on display, one on the workshop floor, one in the office and two in the staff toilet so that he can see a naked woman regardless of whether he is taking a dump or a piss. For 12 months of the year.

Karntz says he is not a homophobe and in fact wants straight and gay people to be treated as equals and that a straight pride parade may not be a bad place to start. 

“Nah mate, no problem with them if they wanna keep it to themselves”

“I even bought one of their calendars one year full of buff looking boys. We gave it to the apprentice for the Kris Kringle and you should of seen his face mate! Haha”

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