Local semi-retired sporting goods retailer slash property investor, Royce Rodson (71) has this week stumbled across the kryptonite to his daughters and their leftie superpowers.

According to the kids, ‘woke’ is a new form of youth lingo that describes someone who alert to injustice in society, especially racism.

It is a mutation of the term ‘awake’ – meaning to have one’s eyes open to the world around them.

However, like all good social-media-enforced layers of social consciousness, ‘wokeness’ can be taken too far – especially when left-wing elites begin mixing up ‘rednecks’ with ‘poor people’ and ‘homophobia’ with ‘immigrants’ – an obstacle course that his littered with blatant examples of backhanded racism and full blown classism.

Unfortunately for progressives, through the left’s self-critiquing of their own social justice police state, the anti-PC layabouts have taken great pleasure in redefining the term ‘woke’ to describe someone who gets offended easily.

And this week, Royce Rodson from Betoota Grove has discovered that ‘woke’ can be utilised as a kill-shot to shut down any arguments he may be having with his university student daughters about social justice issues he refuses to give a fuck about.

During a series of arguments this week about the treatment of Meghan Markle, and the concerning culture of toxic misognyny in both Parliament House and the corporate world, Royce has found him self regurgitating the faux-outrage that he mainlines from the mouth of that chubby loser on Sky News and straight into his ageing veins.

“You girls have a problem with everything. This whole WOKE thing has gone too far!” says Royce, with a smirk.

His daughters immediately shut up

“These woke snowflakes just want everything their way!”

They can’t win, he’s discovered that word that Paul Murray uses incorrectly.

Royce knows he’s got them against the ropes.

“Listen here you lot. I’m sick of being told what to do by whingeing economically dispossessed young people”

“I’m sick of being told my honest half baked Christian opinions make gay people want to kill themselves”

“I’m sick of being told you can’t buy houses because our generation own three-to-four houses each”

“As silverhaired property owners, people like me and your mother should expect that our assets go up in value exponentially without any faults until we eventually decide to sell them to a member of China’s richest 1%”

“I am a caucasian post-war Australian. I have never made a compromise in my entire life and I’m not going to start now!”


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