After months of joyous silence for the scum-of-the-Earth yuppies and boomers who cannot stand the noise coming from the venues they chose to live adjacent to, live music is back on!

However, in the predictable nature of the poorly-produced reality TV show that is 2020, there is a shocking twist in return for listening to musicians in a way that actually makes them money

That twist is that most of these Covid-Safe gigs will be sit down only performances, requiring attendees to stay seated while their favourite bands perform heartfelt bangers right in front of them.

According to Aria Award Nominees Soggy Steps, the sit down gigs have reminded the Brisbane duo of painful early days gigging at regional RSLs.
“There’s no dancing but there is a lot of smiling. One guy even tapped his foot once,” stated Steps lead singer Bailey Nulty”

“One guy died during a show at Betoota Workers once. Just straight up had a stroke. Nothing rock n roll about that, only drug in his system was fosamax.”

While the duo state they are incredibly grateful for the crowds that have flocked to their shows to hear their ironic covers of metal songs and corporate jingles, seeing their audience seated and nodding while eating a $24 bowl of sweet potato wedges brings back memories of horrible times performing to crowds that just wanted to hear Moonlight Sonata

“It just reminds me of performing in a room where I had also attended a local cricket presentation earlier that week. At least there is no one fussing over their Keno tickets.”

“Actually, people did used to stand up and cheer for that occasionally and they didn’t have some power-tripping Covid-marshall come and shove them back down.”



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