In a completely unexpected and entirely unpredictable turn of events, it seems Australia’s private market have been unable to secure anymore RAT tests – despite the Prime Minister insisting it was the best option to let major retailers take control of the roll-out of price-gouged medical supplies.

This comes a calls grow for the federal government to provide widespread access to free rapid antigen tests, as the health system buckles under the strain of hundreds of thousands of PCR results that have backed up since Christmas

However, widespread stock shortages have made it difficult for many Australians to buy RATs from Morrison’s billionaire mates – at a time when authorities are begging them to avoid PCR testing unless absolutely necessary.

Scott Morrison said he doesn’t want to “undercut” suppliers and Health Minister Greg Hunt argues free rapid antigen tests would cause demand to spiral out of control, a predicament that health experts begged them to prepare for as early as September.

The average going rate, for anyone who is lucky enough to stumble across an RAT at their local shops, is around $25.

But consumer watchdog the ACCC has received more than 100 complaints as test prices surge well beyond $30 in some places.

This is a bizarre situation Australia finds itself in, as many countries around the world have been offering the rapid tests for free since early last year – after taking the expert health advice that Scott Morrison ignored.

While Murdoch media works tirelessly to save Scotty’s neck by spinning the unfounded rumour that ‘the whole world is experiencing an RAT shortage’ – the UK and US seem to have access to enough Australian-made tests to give them away to hundreds of millions of citizens for free.

Despite all of this, Morrison remains committed to his plan to let major retailers like Gerry Harvey maintain exclusive rights to selling the RAT tests at a marked up rate, in an effort to generate hundreds of millions of dollars that can in turn be spent advertising in the NewsCorp papers that will be utilised to run the Morrison 2022 election campaign.

“Just take a panadol lol” said the PM today.

“Let the private market do their thing”


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