Queensland’s election campaign has been officially joined by the Prime Minister this week, after Morrison finally meet the criteria to cross the border.
Current state entry controls mean Scotty From Marketing could only enter Queensland if he had not been in a declared hotspot, which includes most of NSW and all of Victoria, in the last 14 days.
Despite his claim that he only quarantined in Canberra for two weeks so that he could fly to Brisbane to plug his new budget that no one in Queensland seems to benefit from unless they like the idea of children being taught religious theology at public schools, Morrison has been making a lot of appearances alongside the Queensland LNP leader, in marginal LNP electorates.
On Tuesday last week, Queensland’s parliament was officially dissolved, ramping up the campaign ahead of the October 31 election, and all hands are deck for both major parties.
However, Morrison insists the predicted Labor landslide has nothing to do with him deciding to relocate to the Sunshine State for the next fortnight, to help boost the polling for Deb Frecklington, the embattled Queensland LNP leader whose own party referred her to the Queensland independent corruption commission today.
While his Queensland colleagues appear to face more in-fighting than the coalition opposition in Victoria, and the sex scandal plagued NSW Government – Scotty From Marketing is still giving it his best crack to get the Queensland LNP over the line, hand in hand with the Murdoch newspaper.
With the Labor Premier Annastacia Palaszczuk looking good to win another term off the back of her staunch anti-Southerner border controls, Scotty From Marketing is today working harder than he did in those couple weeks he spent in Australia during the bushfires. Which in his mind, is above and beyond his duty as an average Aussie bloke.
Today, after being presented with the polling data, Scotty has made some sensational claims in a desperate attempt to resonate with the Queensland voters.
“Yeah me Nan was born in Maryborough” he told reporters, while kitted up in Queensland state of Origin merchandise, while standing outside Suncorp Stadium, alongside Deb Frecklington.
“Swear to God”
“She was a good Queensland girl.
“Loved mining. Loved the bush. Loved the Reef. Hated COVID”
Scotty paused briefly, as he began to brainstorm further marketing ploys in an effort to somehow get these toothless northern hillbillies see him as one of their own.
“Yeah, I guess that makes me technically one of youse, aye” he says, in a stiff attempt at sounding like the rugby league men he sees on TV.
“Hahaha. I’m the first Queenslander PM since Ruddy. How good”
“Anyway. That means youse should vote for the LNP.”
“Labor wants to tax your inheritances and turn your kids gay”
However, unfortunately for Scotty, he had forgotten to take off the Cronulla Sharks hat that he had been previously wearing for a zoom phone call with Sunrise.
Locals gave him ten minutes to take the Maroon jersey off or face a Caxton Street cuddle.