Prime Minister Scott Morrison has wasted little time mucking around since the weekend’s election and has today announced some big policy, an overturn on the jet ski ban in Sydney Harbour.

“How goods Sydney Harbour,” he said to reporters down in the Developers Republic of Sydney today.

“It’s a bloody shame that it’s not currently being used to its full potential, so let’s get jet ski’s back out on the water!”

“Im a big policy guy, and this is just the first of many big policies that will make lives better for the quiet, ordinary Australians who voted for me.”

Morrison then explained that the new jet ski policy had absolutely nothing to do with appeasing people for those tax cuts he promised to 10 million Australians this year that weren’t actually going to happen now.

“Oh yeah, about that, we’ll sort something out no dramas at all,” explained the man who effectively ran a successful opposition campaign from government.

“Just trust a bloke, it’ll be sorted, and then it will be even sweeter for the cashed up bogans who wanna come and fang (sic) it around the Harbour.”

“I’m looking forward to getting out there myself,”

“I can’t wait to spray water on some dumb tourists out the front of the Opera House,” he said bursting into laughter.


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