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Archaeologists fossicking in the volcanic rock of Pompeii have today uncovered a stone tablet believed to be used by Titus Flavius Caesar Vespasianus Augustus during his time as Roman Emperor.

The scriptures carved onto the tablet have since been translated from Latin, revealing a speech the leader gave to his nation’s academics in early 79 AD, urging them to stop talking about volcanoes because they were subjecting children to “needless anxiety”.

‘Titus’ as he was known served as Roman Emperor between b79AD to 81AD – a term that lasted longer than most Australian Prime Ministers. However, his time as leader was marred by the suffering caused by two disasters, the eruption of Mount Vesuvius and a fire in Rome in 80.

However, he is remembered fondly for his hard work overseeing the completion of The Colosseum – which is recognised as one of the great feats of the Roman Empire, and often compared to Australia’s National Broadband Network.

However, the unearthing of the ancient scriptures appears to show another side to this short-lived political legacy.

The tablet appears to document an address given by Titus to the Roman Senate, where he was asked for his response to the scientists and activists of the time – who had accused the political class of failing the younger generations by not taking any action towards the smoke and firey shit coming out of the top of Mount Vesuvius.

Titus said he acknowledged “how deeply people feel about this issue” but said the public debate was replete with disinformation about the Roman Empire’s volcano evacuation and preparation policies.

“It often comes as news to people when I share with them that the Roman Empire has the highest per capita investment in evacuation chariots of any country in the world” Titus said.

“I do understand that people feel strongly about this, but I think we also have to take stock, we have to ensure we get a proper context and perspective,” Titus said.

“I want children growing up in Australia to feel positive about their future, and I think it is important we give them that confidence that they will not die from being melted by lava, that they will also have an economy to live in as well.”

Mount Vesuvius, a stratovolcano in modern-day Italy, erupted later that year in one of the deadliest volcanic eruptions in European history.

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