A recent report into some shit that has kicked off outside a late night Turkish joint has found that someone threw a kebab at someone, or something like that.

It is believed that the airborne kebab was the catalyst for what then resulted in a bunch of strangers throwin’ them.

Betoota’s Roma Hills nightlife precinct is well known for it’s high energy and the prevalence of a big old barney in the street between different venues.

Despite lock-outs laws and over-infringing liquor licensing, the police, partygoers and community leaders have had come to terms with the fact that these kinds of scraps are always going to occur in party precincts.

This has been put down to two key reasons. One, because thousands of people in one place at one time can result in anything – and two, men are idiots.

While punch-ons can be started by literally anything when you’ve got a bunch of peacocking macho men walking home after failing to impress any women – one recurring cause for an all-in brawl in someone deciding to launch a $12 drunken feast at someone’s head. Often without even taking a bite.

The current duck-and-weave currently taking place outside Erdoğan Family Restaurant looks to be resolved by nearby strangers, who are bigger and scarier than any of the morons trying to punch each other into submission.

“Oi” yells one third-party alpha.

“Cut it out”

At time of press, the alleged brawlers were seen backpedalling in seperate directions while nodding at the much bigger bloke, who are possibly members of the Defence Force judging by their haircuts.


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