Just two months into his unexpected promotion to Prime Minister of Australia, Scott Morrison MP has today revealed just how relatable and average he is.

After being spotted playing football in full length cargo pants, posting a dorky video of Question Time with a Fatman Scoop soundtrack, and wearing a Hurley surfwear cap to just about every single press engagement, the Prime Minister – who colloquially known by his self-given nickname of ‘Scomo’ – has today revealed he also has a crippling addiction to the several predatory online gambling apps.

“Haha. I love a punt just as much as the next bloke” said the Prime Minister in a press conference outside the Cronulla Northies earlier this morning.

“In fact, just last night I had to put the brightness on my iPhone all the way down so I didn’t wake up the missus when I was checking the results on some ponies I loaded up on in Singapore”

“Had the hide the phone down the side of the bed and everything [haha]”

However, while things might seem grim for the Prime Minister as the non-stop exposure to gambling ads are forced onto him through everyday TV broadcasts and billboards, Scomo insists he’s not at the point where the addiction is affecting his mental health, or his family life.

“I get paid a fair bit in this new job” he said.

“So yeah, not at panic stations just yet”

“But yeah, my motto is, if the horses are racing on dirt, it’s time to stop [haha]”

The Prime Minister then excused himself from the interview to check the odds on an upcoming semi-finals for a third-division Thailand womens soccer tournament.


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