CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
Prime Minister Scotty From Marketing has today immediately wrapped up a press conference after being asked why he wasn’t sycophantically hanging around any footballers on Saturday night’s opening NRL fixture.
Morrison’s decision to not go anywhere near the Indigenous vs Maori season curtain-raiser was noted by not just Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people, but also the visitors.
Many of the Maori and Indigenous fans expected to see our nation’s leader running water and being a pest in the change rooms after the match, as he is known for during Sharks matches and the odd Prime Minster’s XI and XIII exhibitions against minnow nation’s that we flog.
However, he was no where to be seen, and now he won’t explain why.
The question, which was asked by an NITV reporter, was never going to get a solid answer – as the Prime Minister has made it clear that he doesn’t answer questions that might present him in an unflattering light.
The journalist, who will remain nameless and has since gone into hiding out of fear the Education Minister will have him sacked from the public broadcaster,
This NRL All Stars marks the most recent item to be placed in Scotty From Marketing’s too-hard-pile, a growing stash of inconvenient news stories that either make him, or Australia, look bad.
The visible absence of any politicians on Saturday night’s First Nation’s rugby league spectacular joins many other hot topics on Scotty’s too-hard-pile: Namely, the 2019-20 bushfires, domestic violence rates, his decision to let Pauline Hanson chair an inquiry into the family court’s bias towards female domestic violence rates, housing affordability, the Great Barrier Reef, and of course, the Christchurch Shooting that killed over 50 innocent Muslims during prayer and was perpetrated by a Grafton local who had been radicalised in Australia but able to evade intelligence agencies because his scary rhetoric wasn’t too different to the comments made by Peter Dutton every time he speaks about immigrants and refugees in Parliament.
It is presumed that Morrison, who has attempted to spend $50M on a re-enactment of Captain Cook’s arrival to Australia while also refusing to sign the Uluru statement, is too scared of getting greasies from the Foxx and the Jet – and would rather steer clear altogether.
His office has confirmed the next sporting event in his calendar is the Australian Olympics pole-vaulting trials.
Where he is expected to be waving a flag and doing a shimmy while drinking a XXXX shandy on player-cam.
