Scotty From Marketing has been criticised over his response to Monday’s nationwide March4Justice rallies, with the prime minister noting that the women protesting around Australia yesterday are lucky that the government didn’t order any jackboots to shoot at them.

Mr Morrison did not attend Monday’s rally outside Parliament House in Canberra, where protesters called for action on sexual harassment and abuse, because he was busy approving a pile of requests for mental health leave from his Cabinet Ministers and staffers who were accused of aiding, abetting and even perpetrating sex crimes against vulnerable women.

Acknowledging the rallies in parliament on Monday, Mr Morrison praised Australia’s “vibrant liberal democracy”.

“It is good and right, Mr Speaker, that so many are able to gather here in this way, whether in our capital or elsewhere, and to do so peacefully to express their concerns and their very genuine and real frustrations,” Mr Morrison said. 

“Not far from here, such marches, even now, are being met with bullets. But not here in this country.

“This is a triumph of democracy when we see these things take place.”

Scotty’s comments have been perceived as an uncensored portal into his mind, as protestors acknowledge that the mere fact he even thought about protestors being shot at means he’s thought about it as a genuine resolution at least once.

However, the Prime Minister insists this isn’t just about protestors being shot at.

“Everyone is a sitting duck, in these countries, that as I mentioned, are not far from here”

“Not just the protestors should feel lucky”

“Us elected officials should feel lucky too. Especially the ones who break the law”

Morrison revealed that a good portion of his cabinet – including the likes Angus Taylor, Peter Dutton, Bridget McKenzie, Linda Reynolds and of course Attorney-General Christian Porter are all very well aware of the fact that if it weren’t for Howard’s gun laws, and the sympathetic cuddling for the Murdoch news monopoly – they too could be shot at by members of the public.

“Fuck me. Imagine how many bodies would be on the floor if we were held to the same level of accountability as Indira Gandhi” said Morrison, while anxiously puffing.

“Or even JFK and Reagan…”

“That’s the real reason why we give thanks for our vibrant liberal democracy”

“Did you know how common it is for corrupt politicians to be met with bullets too?”



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